Hundreds of new cyclists who received bikes for Christmas are said to be finding the daily drug injections a difficult part of the sport’s routine.
Keen to embrace all of the sport’s requirements, virgin bike riders, who’ve successfully acquired ill-fitting clothing, needless glasses and on-board gadgetry are rumoured to be finding the regular testosterone and steroid boosts a tricky element of this popular pastime.
“I won’t deny it’s a bit painful” explained new cyclist Simon. “I’ve never been a fan of syringes but I know it’s part of the sport, so I trying to just get on with it”.
Debutants are also said to be finding some of the unwanted side effects of the drugs a little tricky to get accustomed to. “The 5 O’clock shadow and newly found attraction to larger is not what I bargained for” confessed Sarah Bicneed of Portsmouth. “But I’m finding it great to be a part of this new community”.
Sales of espresso and pastries are also said to have peaked dramatically throughout cycling hot-spots across the country.