The RFU have announced that the England Rugby team will perform a Morris dance routine at the start of each of their future international matches, beginning from the start of the Six Nations tournament this year.
Keen to rival the All Black’s famous Haka, officials at the governing body have turned to the English national dance as their answer.
“It’’s considered one of the most frightening and unnerving displays across the country” explained RFU tactics director Kevin Bells. “The Morris dance is unrivaled in it’s ability to instill fear and panic in all those who witness it” he went on. “Anyone who’s been surprised by the unexpected arrival of a collection at a country pub will know the feelings of acute awkwardness and nausea the experience brings”.
Experts across the sport are thought to agree that the brave move will have a dramatic effect on results. “The first few minutes of any game are always crucial” said team offensive development coach Gary Sticks. “The Morris dance provides us with a brilliant opportunity to put the opposition on the back foot in those opening plays in the game”.
The team are currently undergoing extensive training with some of the country’s leading Morris Dance experts, believed to be taking place in a secret village location in Devon, with their first performance expected in the opening game of the 2017 Six Nations Tournament against France at Twickenham in February.
White handkerchiefs are expected to be supplied by team sponsor O2.