England coach Trevor Bayliss has called upon the services of an exorcist to rid what he’s called “bad spirits” in the national team.
Following a run of losses against India and with a number of players struggling for form, Bayliss is adamant that the “removal of this dreadful curse” on the side will be the treatment they’re looking for.
“We’ve tried everything else” explained assistant coach Ramprakash. “After working on batting technique, bowling strategy and a number of team bonding exercises with no positive results, we’re convinced the team is under a spell of some kind” he explained.
It is understood an exorcist, previously used successfully with Kevin Keagan’s England football team, is to be flown out to India from the UK on Monday.
With criticism aimed at the England management concerning the cost of hiring a jet solely for the purpose, team officials were keen to explain the reasons behind the decision.
“Nobody will travel with him” explained Jim Flaps, head of England Transportation. “People understandably have enormous reservations about flying with someone connected with the occult” he said. “It is for that reason we feel justified in outlaying the expense for him to travel out and help us in these difficult times”.
The team are expected to meet with the curse-ridding expert on Wednesday, in time for their next game on Thursday.