Members of the Scotland football team have admitted that they can barely understand anything the manager Gordon Strachan is saying.
Sources close to the national side have revealed that a number of the players have sought help from members of the support team in an effort to decipher instructions and strategies laid out by the veteran boss.
“We’ve got no idea what he’s talking about” explained one player, who wished to remain anonymous. “We get bits of it but most is just unintelligible nonsense” he said.
Linguistics and regional accents expert Tony Jibber explained the root cause of the problem. “Gordon Strachan has an unusual mixture of dialects, coupled with his small stature and subsequent short vocal chords, results in a pitch and timbre of voice incomprehensible by the vast majority of adults.
When asked to comment on the evidence, Strachan said “Yer aff yer heid! Ah dinnae ken. Dinnae teach yer Granny tae suck eggs” he explained.
[Unfortunately we are unable to translate the exact content of Mr Strachan’s reply.]
It is understood the Scottish Football association is looking into the allegations as a possible cause for the team’s run of poor results.
