A revolutionary new initiative is being proposed by the FA to introduce Lions into “Dull” football matches in 2018.
Under the details of the new Gladiator-inspired policy, games that remain goalless at the eightieth minute will trigger specially designed gates in the player’s tunnel that release 4 big cats into the arena.
Concerned by the increasing frustration of fans, tormented by a large number of scoreless games, the governing body have proposed a novel solution to the problem.
“We think it will inject much-needed tension and excitement into these tiresome matches” explained FA chief Brian Mane. “The problem of endless games without goals has been one we’ve been seeking to solve for some time,” he said. “We’re anticipating amazing levels of excitement and anticipation in the closing moments of matches from now on” he explained.
It is understood the new regulation is set to be introduced on a trial basis into Championship games, with the scheme rolled out to Premiership fixtures the following year.
The lions themselves are to be sourced from regional zoos, with Regent’s Park and Whipsnade facilities already signed up to the scheme. “We’re very keen to get involved with this” explained Sarah Claws, chief zoologist at Regent’s Park Zoo. “Lions kept in continuous captivity experience a significant drop in their hunting instincts and, over time, this effects their level of testosterone, adrenaline and self esteem” she explained. “We do our very best to encourage our lions to seek out their food within their enclosures but nothing substitutes the biological effects that “hunting” creates.”
Supporter groups are also said to be encouraged by the initiative, with sales of tickets in the upper tiers of grounds, reported to be up for next season.
It is rumoured that some venues have expressed concern for those fans with front row positions in the stadiums and are reported to be considering ticket price reductions for these “vulnerable” areas.
Player representatives are yet to release a statement on the matter.